


easily ruined and hard to build

by Hashidrama



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Canon Compliant, Crush, Founding of Konoha, Hurt No Comfort, Konoha Founders, Konohagakure | Hidden Leaf Village, M/M, Nature, Pining, Politics, Slow Burn, Warring States Period (Naruto), mostly hashirama-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:16:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25934266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hashidrama/pseuds/Hashidrama
Summary: In the early days of Konoha, Hashirama and Madara go on a mission to negotiate with the Hyuuga clan to join them. Meanwhile Madara feels like he doesn’t belong with the other Uchihas so he is searching for a safe place in Hashirama’s wide arms.
Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Uchiha Madara
Comments: 9
Kudos: 63





	1. in the leaves

**Author's Note:**

> Timewise, the story is set to when Hashirama is already a Hokage and Madara (probably) lives with Hashirama. I’m all for different interpretation and I think that I wrote this story as a very versatile piece you can fit into different plotlines.   
> English is not my first language so sometimes I have battles with past tense.

The early Spring was futile and different that year. All the trees were flowering sooner than they used to, probably because the weather was warmer. One could anticipate a pretty rich yield in the late Summer which could mean that Konoha, the new-born baby, could last through the next winter.

Hashirama felt like the sunbeams were kissing his back as the glass windows behind himself always let the light inside his office. Hashirama was too focused on his work to notice the steps in the hall that were getting closer. And then the door suddenly opened, Madara quickly walked inside, with a sharp noise of door closing. Hashirama raised his strong chin. The rays of the sun were now desperately reaching for Madara. He was visitting the office often, to talk about the Konoha’s infrastructure or about anything, but this time Hashirama didn’t expect to see him as Madara was supposed to have a patrol by the gate.

„Madara,“ Hashirama said as tenderly as possible.

„ _Hokage-sama_ ,“ said Madara sharply.

„Don’t call me that as long as you’re only calling me by the title to mock me,“ sighed Hashirama. Madara called him Hokage-sama often. Sometimes to make sure Hashirama knew his Hokage position is a bluff. Other times to play an innocent prank on him. It made Hashirama wonder what was Madara actually thinking about him being the Hokage because sometimes the sound of it, coming from Madara’s mouth, ached like a paper cut. It wasn’t a very visible wound, but it ran deep and hurt for a few days.

„If I wanted to mock you, I would mock that embarrassing gown of yours.“ It took Madara a few seconds to reply. „I was by the gate and something has happened… I thought you’d like to know from me as soon as possible,“ said Madara calmly and made his way slowly through Hashirama’s office, leaning his back against the window.

„What is it?“ Hashirama asked almost immediately as he grew inpatient.

„A shinobi team from Konoha came back one man short. And that man was of your own kin,“ Madara said.

„Did he die?“ Hashirama asked, his muscles tensed. He didn’t hear about anything like this since the peace was arranged between Uchiha and Senju clans.

„Yes, _Hokage-sama_ , he was killed,“ Madara answered. What did Hashirama except? That the man turned into the scent of a forest and is not a man anymore?

„Don’t call me that,“ Hashirama closed his eyes. „For you I’m Hashirama, I have always been and always will be,“ Hashirama added. „So, what has happened?“

„It seems like the team got into a fight with some members of some clan nearby the borders with Wind country,“ Madara replied. „Seems like there are still many clans opposing our alliance.“

Hashirama didn’t feel sadness, but a deep feeling of failure. For Konoha, this was its first death. „That’s where the Hyuuga clan lives,“ Hashirama raised an eyebrow. He had never seen anyone from that clan, but he heard stories about their cruelty towards other clans and even towards themselves.

„I think we should exterminate them, for the village’s safety…“ Madara stated calmly like he was talking about tonight’s dinner.

„And why would we do that? Aren’t they your relatives?“ Hashirama asked.

„There is hardly any allyship between Uchiha clan and Hyuuga clan. We fought them many times, they are like a dog’s rash. You just can’t get rid off them,“ Madara said. There was a strong competition between two clans with eye kekkei genkai and Madara knew how the Hyuuga clan worked.

„Maybe we could convince them to join Konoha,“ Hashirama said innocently.

„That’s not possible, Hashirama. You know nothing about them,“ brushed Madara Hashirama’s idea off with a simplicity of a walking barefoot in grass.

„And why is that impossible? You used to say that even a peace between our clans is and look at this place now, we’re cooperating!“ Hashirama smiled.

„Because,“ Madara frowned. „Their hierarchy is very carefully estabilished. They look slick, but they are like snakes. The small group of them abuses their power by treating the larger group as their slaves.“ Madara explained.

„Are they rich?“ Asked Hashirama quietly.

„Very rich,“ answered Madara and looked at Hashirama. He could feel his friend‘s worries about Konoha’s finances because the feudal lord refused to give them more money. He made a few steps towards Hashirama and his gaze softened. Hashirama was still the closest person he had and he couldn’t see him suffer. „We’re going to be fine, Hashirama. I‘ve read Tobirama’s financial analysis and it doesn’t look twice as bad as you think,“ said Madara gently.

„Still, we don’t need to kill them,“ Hashirama voiced his opinion.

„They are blatantly murdering our people, Hashirama. What else is left? As far as we know, they could be preparing for an attack on Konoha.“

„I will send them a letter with a peace treaty. We could bury the hatchet.“

„That’s a waste of paper. And of a hatchet,“ Madara smirked. „But look at yourself, you’re stressed. Need a drink?“

„Yes,“ Hashirama replied. „Will you meet me at our place after work?“

„Anything for _Hokage-sama_ ,“ Madara replied and left the Hokage office.

\---

Senju Toka was the last person to see Sarutobi Ayase alive. He fell right to her arms. His bones were fractured and he couldn’t move. He bled out to his stomach because of the internal injuries the Hyuuga caused. It wasn’t a slow death, actually, the Sarutobi was suffering terribly before his ultimate death. Toka was tormented by the memory and she couldn’t even talk about what exactly happened when she was talking to Hashirama, providing him with the knowledge. She could still see how Sarutobi’s whole body turned blue and how it felt when his body went cold too quickly.

„I’m so sorry, Toka,“ said Hashirama and touched her shoulder. „I wish you wouldn’t have to go through that.“ They were sitting with Tobirama in Toka’s apartment. They have always been close, almost like peas in a pod. Toka was the closest to a sister Tobirama and Hashirama ever had. They were protective, like brothers should be, but also… Cruel to her as brothers can be. The night was innocent, with a young moon hovering in the pitch black sky, glowing white like a fresh lily. And still, there was this perverse chip on Toka’s shoulders that couldn’t let her go.

„They are ruthless, Hashirama! We must stop them, we didn’t provoke them at all, I swear-„Toka cried out.

„I know. Unfortunately they refuse to communicate with me. I don’t think they are as happy about the idea of the village as we are,“ Hashirama breathed calmly.

„We can’t just stand and wait until they will kill another one of our ninjas,“ Tobirama joined the discussion. He was rational, as always.

„Are you implying we should start a war?“ Hashirama stood up and shook his head. This made no sense. It was his village, his lisping baby and the thought of going into war with it was against everything Hashirama believed.

„I’m not saying that we should start a war, Hashirama. We just need to deal with it, we can’t act like nothing is happening. The Hyuuga clan is obviously against our system and they will not leave us alone. What other ideas do you have?“ Asked Tobirama with no emotions at all. Although he didn’t like the idea of going into war, the idea of not protecting their people he hated even more.

„I will grace them with a visit,“ announced Hashirama suddenly.

„You’re a Hokage, you’re not supposed to leave the village,“ Tobirama sighed. His brother was always like this. He made up his mind in a split second without thinking about it.

„I must, we’re going to need to negotiate. It’s my obligation,“ Hashirama lowered his head.

„They are going to kill you, Hashirama. Or worse, they are going to kidnap you and do experiments on your body!“ Toka objected.

„It sounds like a stupid idea. But it’s coming from you, so it’s not suprising,“ Tobirama said. „Just please, don’t kill yourself to make them sign the peace treaty,“ Tobirama sighed. He could still remember how easily was Hashirama able to throw his life away for making peace with Uchiha clan. And he was haunted with the thought that his brother will do it again.

„No worries, I will take Madara with me,“ Hashirama smiled.

„And how is the other idiot going to help you with this? _Will he help you stab yourself?_ “ Tobirama asked. He felt like his intelligence dropped by a good twenty points everytime he heard Madara and Hashirama talk.

„Don’t be mean, Tobirama,“ Toka frowned and shook her neck.

\---

Madara wasn’t the only one who thought it was an idea of a mad man to visit the Hyuuga clan. But he didn’t want to let Hashirama go by himself so he agreed to go with him. Well, what he agreed to, was to go at eight o’clock. But it was already nine o’clock and Hashirama was still getting ready, but it was still a delightful morning, full of various possibilities. Madara sat by the table in Hashirama’s kitchen and watched as the other man was trying to tie down his scroll. Madara didn’t mind, he found it quite amusing. Everything Hashirama did was like a breath of fresh air for him. And seeing a man as great as Hashirama struggle with a simple thing like tying a knot was just charming.

„Let me help you so you don’t hang yourself with it, _Hokage-sama_ ,“ Madara said, trying to look as annoyed as possible.

„I’m sorry, I know I’m keeping you waiting! I’ve always been terrible with knots!“ Hashirama laughed.

Laugh escaped from Madara’s lips too. „It’s fine. I’d appreciate if you would let me sleep a little bit more, but if you need an audience to your morning routine, how could I refuse?“

„I’m glad you’re coming with me, Madara.“

„It’s a mission, Hashirama,“ Madara announced and tied the scrolls to Hashirama’s body.

„No, I mean I’m glad YOU are coming with me,“ Hashirama grinned.

„You’ve already said that…“ Madara squinted his eyes perplexedly. Hashirama was often talking nonsense. „But you’re the Hokage and you ordered me to accept this mission.“

Hashirama smiled and walked out of the door. „Is Byakugan stronger than Sharingan?“ Hashirama asked while watching Madara, looking at his forehead protector with a Konoha symbol. 

„No,“ replied Madara simply. He got used to wearing the Konoha symbol. This way, Hashirama wasn’t begging him to wear it. It kept him satisfied and so Madara wore it almost daily. He felt as Hashirama was looking at him differently everytime he had it on and Madara was more than happy to please Hashirama. 

„That’s what your clan told you?“

„Well, they are not stronger than me,“ Madara informed the Hokage. He smirked because Hashirama was clearly trying to poke him, but Madara had none of it.

„Then we’re lucky to have you with us!“ Hashirama declared with a Cheshire cat smile.

And Madara smiled too, like Hashirama’s mirth was infectious. It wasn’t like anyone else in Konoha happily welcomed Madara‘s presence. His own clan hated him. He was a boogeyman of Konoha. A pariah. A castaway. They whispered behind his back, but just loudly enough so that Madara could hear it. About how he killed his last brother to gain power. They were supposed to be on his side, yet they casted him out of their lines. Hashirama told him to try, but Madara’s patience and his kindness was slowly running out. They were constantly trying to compare him to the Hokage like they were trying to cause a rift between the two childhood friends. Hashirama was the only safe space he had, the only garden he could hide in, the only island in the open sea. What if they would cast Hashirama out for just haning out with him? Hashirama would be shattered. He was Hashirama’s wound, he was pulling Hashirama down with himself, he was the poison that was slowly filling Hashirama’s veins and killing him.

\---

As the day advanced and grew older, Hashirama and Madara had to stop and rest. Hashirama knew the forest well and knew exactly where they should sleep so they wouldn’t be attacked by a wild animal. They could linger for a while under the trees of unutterable beauty. Madara opened his backpack and pulled out a dinner he made the day before. It was just a simple rice balls. „Are you hungry Hashirama?“ Madara asked.

„Yes,“ Hashirama replied.

„Then you can go and pick some berries for yourself, I think I’ve seen them down the path somewhere,“ Madara smirked and Hashirama smirked too. It was Madara’s pale face that caught Hashirama’s attention. The bluewhite starlight coming from the distant sky beneath the boughs was glistening on his likeness when he handed Hashirama one rice ball.

„Thank you, Madara, you’re very kind,“ said the Hokage and started to eat. He didn’t know if it was because he didn’t eat much the whole day or if Madara was a talented cook, but to Hashirama it seemed like it was the best rice ball he ever had. Madara lit up when Hashirama told him he was kind as no one else has ever said anything like that to him. He was called cruel, vicious and rigid, but never kind. Maybe it was only Hashirama who was able to bring these nice little glimmering fragments of Madara’s personality up.

„Anything for _Hokage-sama_ ,“ Madara answered ironically. Hashirama sighed and looked at the branches blooming above their heads.

„We will continue tomorrow, after we will get a good night sleep,“ Hashirama said. The earth smelled of freshness, wetness and petrichor. Hashirama didn’t expect any rain coming that day. The night consoled Hashirama.

„The Hyuugas are especially grievous, Hashirama,“ Madara pointed out once again. He didn’t want to cause any trouble in Hyuuga clan, he wasn’t hurricane like Hashirama, the fast wind that was ready to change the world anytime. Which was quite amusing, because it was Madara whose element was wind. He actually prefered it over fire, which was yet another thing that distinguished him from his own clan. Another evidence he did not belong with them.

Hashirama was listening to the familiar dulcet sound of forest. It sounded just like in their old house, the one that was in a Senju lair. The wind moved the tree stubs and combed the long grass. The night was tranquil like a dream of peace. And he was satisfied. „I know. But I have no doubts our allegiance will win,“ Hashirama whispered through the air. 

„I think you can convince them to join us, of all people, you’re the best bet,“ Madara murmoned. Hashirama’s enthusiasm was contagious and people naturally followed him. He was always calm and people adored it. People loved Hashirama, maybe too much for Madara’s liking. It was hard to find someone as alluring as Hashirama. Madara wondered if Hashirama had at least the slightest idea of how magnetic he was. But he used his boyish charm for his own gain so nonchalantly that he must have known.

„Thank you, it means a lot coming from you, my dear friend,“ Hashirama smiled softly at the horizon, like he was looking into the future that wasn’t yet decided. He was hopeful that the next day would be fruitful. Madara liked the way they could both stay silent. They weren’t bound to talk all the time. Just the presence of Hashirama’s chakra made Madara feel safe and serene. And for a moment, Madara let himself forget the pain of losing his last brother and just indulge in a pristine moment. And Hashirama, he could almost taste the sweet thrill on his tongue.

\----

After a while, Hashirama stood up and went to a nearby natural spring to wash up. Its surface reflected the moon and the stars like a mirror. Only a light breeze passing by could sent ripples and distort the quiescent image of the sky. Hashirama watched the stars shivering. The pebble bed that he stood on surrounded the pond together with the moss and short grass. It was just another branch of the Naka river, the river whose banks were once his hiding place. It was no coincidence that he met Madara by the river, because he recognized it as his safe place also. It was only given that they met because their two souls were tied so close together, that they shared the same desire for one simple moment of peace, for a soothing water that flowed through the forests much more delicately than the blood of their friends and enemies. Hashirama submerged his hands to the water, which rippled the perfect picture. Suddenly his face in the reflection looked more like his father. He despised it.

Hashirama turned his head and looked back because he heard steps, anticipating Madara or a wild animal but it was neither. Him and Madara weren’t exactly hidden – it was almost impossible to hide their radiant chakra, but Hashirama thought that they were far enough from any kind of civilization. A female’s figure emerged from the rose hip bushes. Hashirama couldn’t exactly tell how she looked like because the forest was dim, but he didn’t panic as he was quite confident in his fighting skills. Hashirama bowed down and smiled. He knew exactly how to behave properly and how to be pleasant. „Good evening, young lady,“ Hashirama said with an apparent smile although he still couldn’t see her face properly. He just guessed, an old lady probably wouldn’t travel this late.

„Good evening,“ answered the lady sharply, nodding her head. Her long hair didn’t even move.

„Would you like to freshen up? I can imagine that a man like me must have scared you, but don’t worry, I will leave immediately so you don’t have to feel uncomfortable,“ Hashirama cited friendly. He was a gentleman and he knew very well not to keep a female from a bathroom.

The lady looked at the man in front of her. He was tall and his demeanor was slick. He didn’t look like a threat, although she could feel he was. He wasn’t just an ordinary man. One would say he was a demon incarnated from the water. His calmness felt natural, like he was transmitting the peace of mind. „I just couldn’t sleep. I accidentally stepped on a sharp branch and I need to clean my wound,“ the lady answered. She wasn’t so sure whether it’s a safe thing to say to a complete stranger.

„Do you need help?“ Hashirama grinned and put water on his face and breathed because he didn’t have to leave his spot. It seemed strange that people would go through these woods when they couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was a soul of the forest, the force of nature, rendered into a young woman. Hashirama always thought of forest as a woman. For him, they were more human than most of the people he knew. He worshipped it and sometimes, the forests around his childhood home were his only friends.

„Not really,“ the lady answered quietly. She was still careful although some of the mental shields she had fell down when the man was talking. She would strike him if he attacked her.

„My name is Hashirama and I will not hinder,“ it was a habit from the war; they rarely revealed their surnames to strangers. And the lady twitched at the sound of his name. And from her reaction Hashirama deduced that she had already heard the name. Was she a shinobi?

„My name is Hase,“ the lady replied. Was he a demon really? It could be a trap. Was he from Konoha? They were supposed to be cruel, but Hashirama’s voice sounded as soft as cinnamon. Maybe he was a illusionist, capable of changing his attitude. These people were the worst. You could get million different faces, according to the situations. The snakes, the coyotes, the rats. 

„I can look at your wound,“ he grinned and made one confident step towards her. She must have been a shinobi, that’s why she didn’t say what her surname was. They looked at each other in a dim night longer than it was appropriate. They both weren’t sure if the fight or flight will follow. But none of them attacked. Instead, Hashirama smiled to difuse the situation because the air was so dense it could be cut with a knife.

Hase didn’t want anyone from Konoha to look at her injury, but it was hurting and Hashirama was still giving her the unperturbed feeling. „Fine,“ she said and looked at her right foot. It was still bleeding. She sat at the stone while Hashirama came closer. He had seen worse, they both did. „Are you here alone?“ She asked.

„No, I’m here with a good friend of mine,“ Hashirama said while his focused gaze turned gentler. „He’s waiting for me.“ He then put his hands on the torn skin. The wound was deep and she could easily catch tetanus. It needed to be treated, so Hashirama started to clean it.

Hase flinched. The pain was sharper when he was trying to wash it. Hashirama was voluble, There were two, as she thought. Maybe the other one was more dangerous. After cleaning the wound, Hashirama started to heal it with his chakra. It was like the life itself was entering Hase’s body, like the life was sneaking into her veins and limbs. Then the pain stopped and her leg was like nothing happened. She had never seen a medic heal anything this quickly. „Thank you,“ she said, unsure whether there was something sedating about his chakra, because she suddenly felt lighter.

„It’s nothing really. If you’d felt some spasms, you must go to a doctor and tell him about your injury,“ Hashirama notified her and stood up.

„I will tell our medic,“ Hase replied to appease him and Hashirama raised his eyebrows and Hase widened her look. That moment Hashirama knew she was a shinobi.

„I should go, I have a curfew,“ Hashirama announced with a light smile.

„Nice meeting you, Hashirama,“ Hase said and bowed down.

„Nice meeting you too,“ Hashirama sighed and stayed for a little bit. She could be anyone, like a Nara clan member. But Hashirama still couldn’t let it go. It was like an intuition that was telling him with a strange voice to be careful. After he came back to Madara, he didn’t tell him about his encounter although Madara lamented about how long did the Senju take. But Hashirama’s lips were tightly sealed. They went to sleep later than they both expected, but it was a marvelous and silent night with owls howling through the trees, leaves and grass.


	2. Clan of the lake

When Hashirama and Madara woke up to a new morning, the sky was yet dressed in a light peachy, aerial color. They were supposed to get on their way soon to find the Hyuuga lair. The trouble with residences that belonged to the clans was that you never knew where exactly they were. You could get some general idea, but it was, just as surnames, hidden, so no enemy could easily attack them. And sometimes, if the lair was hidden well enough, you could walk around it a hundred times and never notice. Madara started to pack his bags, when he noticed that Hashirama was looking highly confused, just looking around stunned like a baby roe deer searching for his mother in the april fields.

„What is it, Hashirama?“ Madara asked.

„I just… I’m not sure where I put my scroll yesterday evening,“ Hashirama sighed.

„What do you mean, how do you manage to lose a damned scroll that’s so huge that it can’t even fit to your apartment?!“ Madara yelled. He didn’t expect anything else from the Senju.

„Maybe I dropped it somewhere and the earth claimed it like a swamp,“ Hashirama said helplessly.

„Well then, we can be glad the earth didn’t claim YOU when you dropped to sleep,“ Madara said, hardly believing Hashirama’s explanation that made no sense.

„Madara, it’s not funny, I had my collection of weapons sealed in that scroll and now it’s gone!“ Hashirama cried out.

„And why are you even taking your whole collection on a mission? I have yet to hear of anyone taking their whole stamp collection to work! I think it’s hilarious.“ Madara wanted to console Hashirama, but he felt like this was his fault so he felt no remorse.

„Maybe it was that girl,“ Hashirama declared suddenly.

„Which girl?“

„The one I met yesterday evening by the springs,“ Hashirama whispered pensively.

„You had a meeting with someone?“ Madara raised eyebrow. Hashirama just couldn’t spend one night without talking to a random person. That’s just who he was. And Madara hated it. Couldn’t *he* just be enough?

„By the accident,“ Hashirama added.

„Well, now you better start collecting the post stamps, no one would steal that,“ Madara said while shrugging his shoulders. „Who was the girl?“

Hashirama wiped his forehead that started to sweat. How was he to find the thief who now had all of his weapons? „I don’t know, probably a kunoichi with a beautiful name Hase,“ Hashirama replied and clenched his jaw. It was like someone stabbed his chest, these were the swords he managed to receive from his ancestors. Swords he was given as a gift for his deeds of bravery. And now it was gone, just like that. He wanted to cry, but it would be really stupid to cry in front of Madara because of materialistic things. But sometimes, when he was little, the inanimate objects were the only things he had.

Madara noticed Hashirama was upset. „Don‘t worry, we will find your weapons, _Hokage-sama_ ,“ Madara said and stood up quietly. For Madara, they were just things. He put his hand on Hashiramas shoulder and indifferently squeezed it, so Hashirama would know that Madara is supporting him. He had no idea where to look for a random huge scroll, but he didn’t want Hashirama to show that defeated face of his.

Madara’s wish did not come true as Hashirama quickly distorted his lips and looked to the ground. The depressed aura appeared over his head. Madara sighed and made Hashirama leave for their mission rather fast. The friends started to walk the dim path that was leading them between firs and pines, the symbols of springtime that was all around them. The morning dew was slowly drying, evaporating in a form of steam. For a little bit, it seemed like a maze.

\---

Hashirama felt like they were walking circles around the meadows and lakes for hours. The diamond sunbeams radiated vividly from the surface of the water were desperately trying to catch their attention like dancing girls, trying to lure themselves a husband.

„Something is wrong,“ Madara said suddenly towards Hashirama.

„What is it?“ Hashirama aske with the shards of light from the lake reflecting on his cheeks. 

„I can feel distorted chakra here. It’s like someone casted a genjutsu,“ Madara frowned.

Hashirama listened. He wasn’t a sensor like Madara or his brother was. It was one of these things he just didn’t get. But the trouble with sensing chakra was that a person had to be very focused and attentive, both of which Hashirama was not. Hashirama noticed that Madara activated sharingan, the eyes that were a symbol of loss and unfathomable grief. „What do you see?“ Hashirama asked quietly so he wouldn’t startle the minnows and pikes that lived in the kingdom underwater.

Madara said nothing. He raised elbows and made a few hand seals. Then he stopped for a while and repeated the process, with different seals. Hashirama carefully observed his friend’s pale hands. After a while, Hashirama finally realized that the palace appeared in the middle of the lake, a palace that was hidden by a profound genjutsu only sharingan could see through. The virginally white walls of the residence were glowing against the deep blue of the water. It was a unprecedented benediction to see such a gorgeous place. Hashirama wished to never forget it. „I think we found the Hyuuga residence,“ Madara notified Hashirama.

„They look rich,“ Hashirama announced. „Do you think we should just go in?“ he added with a smile.

„I have a feeling they already know about us,“ said Madara and looked at Hashirama who acted like someone casted a spell on him. This place looked so different from Konoha or their old home. For Madara it meant that the serenity of him being with Hashirama just ended. It was no more a safe space without other people or intruders. Now he couldn’t tremble to his core anytime Hashirama made a nonchalant and coincidental motion of his chakra and must have hold his posture.

Hashirama looked towards the palace. From the left side, three shinobis with dark hair and silver eyes emerged. When Hashirama noticed them, he bowed down like the good etiquette required. „Good evening, trusty members of the Hyuuga clan,“ Hashirama voiced. „My name is Senju Hashirama and I’m just a simple head of a new found shinobi village. And this man is Uchiha Madara, my right hand and a kind advisor,“ Hashirama announced with a soft voice. He didn’t look directly into Hyuuga’s eyes because he was familiar with sharingan and didn’t want to risk anything. Hyuugas looked just like myths and legends described them. They looked like a pure and innocent beings that just came out of the lake like babies came out of their mothers. But Hashirama knew how cruel they were and how miserably they treated their opponents.

„Do you want to end up like your subordinates?“ Hyuuga asked. If the sound could cut, Hashirama would lose his limbs.

„We do not,“ answered Madara and frowned menacingly. Were they threatening them? To them? To the two strongest people that currently lived? Hashirama and Madara would erase their likeness from the planet Earth with only one movement of the finger. „We demand talking to your clan head because you are the ones killing our people,“ Madara added.

„And why would we do what you’re telling us to do? You’re not even a head of that pathetic village,“ said the Hyuuga. Madara felt like the rage tore through his chest. He clenched his fists. They called their village pathetic, the village that was supposed to substitute his brothers. And they didn’t forget to remind him where his place was, under Hashirama’s reign.

Hashirama could feel Madara’s anger. He noticed his fists that were slowly turning white. He wanted to tell him that Hyuugas are just deranged and not to listen to their words that were as sharp as knife. He raised his eyebrows and said, „Uchiha Madara is actually my equal and every word he says has the same value as if it was coming from my mouth,“ Hashirama said. „Now, do what he asked you to.“

Madara could feel their looks on his face. Hyuuga despised him because he was an Uchiha. Which seemed ironic because Uchihas also despised him and didn’t want him among them. And he despised Hyuugas too. „We will wipe out that palace of yours if you will not do as we want,“ Madara threatened and raised his index finger to emphasize on his words.

Hashirama looked at Madara who threatened the Hyuugas with extermination. Hashirama was sure Madara was just bluffing, but it wasn’t very pleasant. So he smiled and shook his head. „Don’t worry, we will not hurt you. We only really need to talk to your clan heads… Please,“ Hashirama hang his head so the strings of his hair fell over his shoulders. Madara looked at Hashirama, of course he wanted to look best, as always. The humble and kind Hokage. As if anyone could forget all the blood that stained his hands like a wine stained white gown. It could never be washed off. And yet, Hashirama looked as pure as a sheep. And Madara felt like he was the only one who could see right through it, as it was yet another power of the sharingan.

The Hyuugas then led the Hashirama and Madara union to the palace. The only way to get there was to walk on the water, something any shinobi could do since early years, so the palace was almost inaccessible for civilians. When they got to the deck, Madara couldn’t help but notice how heavenly that place looked. The statues of marble were shimmering so much that it almost started to feel unpleasant. They went under the white ceilings, through the white halls, right to the top of a tallest tower. Hashirama was constantly checking Madara’s face, like he was trying to make sure that everything is alright. They both knew that this could be a trap and they could end up like two mice that were too curious. Hashirama locked his eyes with Madara while walking next to each other through another long hall. Madara’s sharingan was still activated. Hashirama had never seen color that scarlet. Was it possible that Madara’s sharingan had a different shade of red from other sharingan eyes? Or was it just the color in contrast to the whiteness that was all around them? Suddenly, they both stood behind the doors of the Hyuuga head’s office. They could hear voices. First quiet, then more and more pronounced words.

„The palace sinked by 20 centimeters this winter!“ said one voice.

„We don’t have money to support the pillars to make them stronger anymore!“ said the other.

„Then we will sink like a damaged ship to the ocean,“ answered the second voice. Hashirama looked at Madara again, who looked quite amused. The door suddenly opened and the head of the Hyuuga clan appeared. He was quite red in the face and he was sweating.

„Are you the diplomacy from Konoha?“ The Hyuuga barked at them.

Hashirama bowed down, again. „Yes, we are,“ he smiled.

„Then you can leave,“ Hyuuga said simply. He noticed Madara’s activated sharingan, the cursed eyes that killed many of his people during the wars. He frowned. Madara hated the way these underdogs looked at him. They weren’t noble enough to look at him like he was some simple animal. He wanted to hit the Hyuuga in his face, to make the sweet red liquid come out from his nose and mouth. He wanted to stab him thirty times, behead him, quarter his body and drag him through the whole Fire country. But it was a time of peace. And he couldn’t do any of these things. All he could do was to mimic Hashirama’s gestures.

„We would like to sign a peace treaty,“ Hashirama smiled warmly, but the Hyuuga had none of it.

„I don’t think you should be here, in a sacred place of Hyuuga,“ the head of the clan said and raised his eyebrows.

„I must insist because we don’t want to lose any more of our own shinobis,“ Hashirama said calmly.

„Then they mustn’t enter our demesnes,“ answered the Hyuuga. He was visibly stressed, but not because of their visit. Something else was going on with the clan and Hashirama with Madara both had a good idea of what is was. The other Hyuuga member led Hashirama and Madara back, to the ground, away from the beautiful palace. Hashirama looked disappointed and Madara was angry. Hashirama was thinking about another way to solve the issue between the two rival sides. The sky wasn’t as azure as before because the sun was graciously hiding behind the sheats of feathery clouds and it looked like the ceaseless rain could come. When Madara and Hashirama finally got to the ground, they made their way deeper into the woods, hoping that the leaves and branches will protect them from the rain. It started to drizzle after just an hour. They stopped in a quiet place and stayed there all through the pouring rain. But they were still in Hyuuga clan’s land.

\---

„Do you think it was Hyuuga who stole your scroll?“ Madara asked Hashirama at one point during their conversation.

„Maybe,“ Hashirama looked at Madara. His hair was wet and heavy from the rain drops, but it didn’t fall down. He looked like he bathed in a pond. It was almost like when they were just two naive children. Back then when Madara pulled Hashirama down the river with himself. Back then when Konoha was just an infantile dream. Madara didn’t change a bit. Only the wrinkles under his eyes were deeper. His heart didn’t change. Once again, they were sitting in the grass under the trees in a rain. Hashirama smiled. „It’s like when we were kids,“ Hashirama said.

„Maybe we never stopped being kids,“ Madara smiled softly at Hashirama. He didn’t think that they’ve ever properly grew up. Their childhoods were brutally stolen by the ferocious wars and so they had to become adults right away, but they could never really got to adult like they should.

„I never stopped thinking about our surreptitious encounters in our childhood,“ Hashirama whispered with the rhytm of the falling raindrops that sounded like little drums.

„We are living it again,“ Madara reacted. Maybe they didn’t learn then so they were convicted to repeat it and maybe not make the same mistakes. To relive it, to enter the same water for the second time.

„It’s like I woke up for the first time the day I met you,“ Hashirama said valiantly and Madara just smirked. Hashirama was always like this, so theatrical and embarrassing. But when he actually said it aloud, somehow it made sense in Madara’s head. Only Hashirama could say these things with such a confidence that it didn’t sound so cringy. Somehow all these little acknowledgments Hashirama was feeding him made him feel better about himself. Maybe he wasn’t such a disaster everyone thought he was. His smirk turned into delightful smile and he stopped paying attention to everything else. Hashirama had this habit of pulling him closer, but then pulling him away and saying things that demeaned the original thought and Madara didn’t want Hashirama to ruin this, so he didn’t say a word. Madara just turned his body towards him. The fragility of his move made Hashirama feel like a knife cut through his flesh from his neck to his heart. It was like a fever attacked his head. 

The moment was spoiled when Madara coughed and a strange, synthetic scent reached Hashirama’s nose. Senju quickly stood up, looking at Madara, still coughing. There were now a few drops of blood in his palm. „Madara!“ Screamed Hashirama, when out of sudden, he was suprised by a bunch of Hyuuga shinobi standing in front of them.

„You were supposed to be gone already,“ said one of the members of the Hyuuga clan. 

„It’s the poisonous gas,“ said Madara between his coughs.

„What kind of jutsu is this?!“ Hashirama asked and coughed too.

The Hyuuga looked straight at Hashirama. „Consider this a threat. Now go help yourself and your friend or you will not get to live the next day.“ The Hyuuga said with a certain haughtiness in the tone of his voice. Hashirama frowned and picked up Madara by his elbow. He looked paler than usually and Hashirama wasn’t sure what was going on.

„I will get you out of here and I will heal you,“ Hashirama said and supported Madara. He needed to get to Konoha soon. He didn’t stop anywhere for the night, he just held his best friend, hoping desperately that they will get there sooner than Madara will choke on his own blood. And he was, god, he was as white as the marble in the Hyuuga clan’s palace. Hashirama was trying to heal Madara’s lungs every few minutes so he would last longer. Something was very eery and sinister about the way Madara kept on coughing blood. The trouble with poisons was that you never knew how exactly they worked. There were poisons that paralysed you, flooded your body gradually until you couldn’t move your paralyzed chest and you smothered. Then there were poisons that could cause internal bleeding, so you literally bled out. And ones that made your heart stop. And you never knew which one was it and what antidote you should use.

Hashirama wasn’t panicking. Everytime he wanted to, he imagined his father, who teached his sons never to show emotions when things get tough and hard. Because emotions on the battlefield were the thing that killed people. You could panic and run instead of saving your comrades. Or you could freeze and let your opponent chop your head off. That was why Hashirama looked so calm, it was like he went on autopilot. He couldn’t think about all the possibilities, catastrophic possibilities. He couldn’t put himself into a self-blaming spiral for going to the Hyuuga clan palace in the first place. The Moon was hiding menacingly behind the hollow branches of trees, like the glowing pupils of the night predators were watching its prey from the bushes and Hashirama was running away from them. Madara was too important for the village, Konoha couldn’t survive without him, although he wasn’t sure if he meant Konoha or himself.

Madara wasn’t feeling well. His head ached violently, like someone was beating it with an axe from the inside of his skull. The last time his head hurt like this was when he was losing his eyesight, before Izuna died and before he received his eyes. Was this it? He wanted to die by Hashirama’s hand, not by a hand of some Hyuuga peasant. He wanted to beg Hashirama to kill him right now, to stab him to the chest and bury him deep just so the pain would stop. That way he could still die by Hashirama’s hands. The hands that were carrying him now like he was a little wounded bird. He felt pathetic and defeated. But he could die with the knowing he died in Hashirama’s arms, he didn‘t want to die alone and he couldn’t stand people other than Hashirama. Yes, if Hashirama’s face would be the last thing he’d see in this life, he would die happy and content. What a disgrace he was. Maybe he deserved to die for disrespecting his dead younger brother, maybe this was a karma and his ultimate destiny. He started to embrace the death until Hashirama stopped, put his hands on Madara’s chest and healed his lungs once again. Madara squeezed his hand like he wanted to indicate not to give up on him, as hard as he could. 


	3. in the trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hashirama is trying to find antidote for Madara who is in a bad state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want this fanfiction to be versatile, so it can be stitched into any of your stories that you have. I also have everything written, I just need to proof-read it, so it's the only thing keeping me from posting it. But it will come, rather soon than later. I also.. did not name the Hyuuga leader because I think that it's hard enough to remember name of one OC. So, enjoy and thank you for reading and spending some of your time with my story.

After medical ninjas of Konoha took Madara, Hashirama was pacing back and forth in the grey walls of the hospital hallway. He couldn’t focus. He hated the fact that he had to leave Madara’s side. Doctors asked Hashirama if he was alright and he just nodded. They suggested that perhaps his high regeneration saved him, just like many times before. So why couldn’t he help Madara? He was Hokage, he was supposed to help everyone, he was supposed to bring joy, life and safety. He was desperately hanging on the rope of hope so he wouldn’t break down in front of everyone or even himself. He wanted to tell the medics vigorously to treat Madara’s poisoning better, to try more, to work more hours. He wanted to use his Hokage power, his evil voice he sometimes used on Tobirama. The authoritative tone that he hated inside with passion because it reminded him of his father (but it worked.. nevertheless) and also because people were scared of him when he spoke like this. And if they were to fear him, they would never support him in leading the village. They would curse his name in secret and they would damn him, as they did to Madara. So Hashirama knew too well just to smile and nod his head gently like a young fir in a zephyr. To listen to their advices and expactations they voiced. Their expectations weren’t good. But Hashirama refused to give up.

\---

It was a beautiful clear night, like the dead were coming back from their dream. The stars were glistening, but Hashirama’s thoughts were slowly decaying. He still stood by the window of his Hokage office. Tobirama sat on the table with legs hanging down. He knew that his older brother is distraught because of Madara’s condition. Tobirama was never very fond of Madara, but he tolerated him as he was not a threat – at least not now. Tobirama never stopped worrying about what’s going to happen once Madara will go mad. He considered Uchihas crazy and Madara especially. Maybe it was the sensor in him, but it was like he could feel how unstable the Uchiha leader was. But he never wanted anything bad to happen to him. Especially because he knew how much would Hashirama hurt and ache. It would break him if Madara was to die. And the last thing he wanted was to see Hashirama in such pain.

„So you are now waiting?“ Tobirama asked out of sudden.

Hashirama nodded, almost unable to speak. „Yes…“

Tobirama wanted to tell Hashirama to at least finish paper work while waiting, but he wasn‘t that cruel, he wasn’t a monster. He just sighed, looking at all the work not finished. He would have to do it later, himself. „Do you think he’s going to be fine?“

„I can’t just wait,“ Hashirama whispered.

„That you can’t,“ Tobirama nodded. Hashirama wasn’t a person who would let luck decide his fate. He never waited for luck to come around. He was the kind of person who ran after luck and grabbed it like it was a leprauchant. Took it and kept it forever.

„I will go beg Hyuugas for the antidote,“ Hashirama said decisively. He was afraid that Madara’s state will get worse as the fear was flooding his veins and brain. He knew that the Hyuuga palace is far away, but he had no other option left.

„What if something happens to Madara and you.. Will not be there?“ Tobirama asked.

„Maybe this is our only chance,“ Hashirama breathed out. His voice broke like a spell.

„You don’t have enough time to get there, Hashirama… I have no seal for my timespace jutsu anywhere nearby,“ Tobirama said with a little bit of empathy which only Hashirama could recognize.

„Then I will go by myself, by foot. I don’t mind,“ Hashirama clenched his fists. He felt like he had to fight for Madara but there was no one to fight with. Fight. He had nothing to fight with. „I need to borrow your sword.“

„Why do you need mine?“ Tobirama asked.

„Because I’ve lost all my money last week, Madara can’t lend me money in his current state and someone in Hyuuga clan stole the scroll with all my weapons,“ Hashirama explained.

Tobirama sighed. Of course Hashirama had no money. It was absolutely normal at this time of month. „Fine…“ Tobirama nodded his head. Then he jerked on the table and jumped to the ground. „Wait, I have a seal on your scroll,“ Tobirama said, raising his finger.

„Do you?“ Hashirama said. He was not surprised, this was a thing Tobirama would do. He didn’t even realize Tobirama pulled something like this off. „Can we go there?“ He said, relieved.

„I can get ready for the jutsu,“ Tobirama said professionaly like it was a business, in contrast to Hashirama, who was over-emotional. For Tobirama, everything was stern.

„Can you get ready in a few minutes?“ Hashirama made sure. He needed to go right away. 

Tobirama sighed again, his brother had no patience. „I guess,“ he said calmly. He was always as cool and calm as a water in a lake. He didn’t move, he just was, in all of his glory, proud and present. „We don’t know where exactly the scroll is. If the scroll is in volcano..“

„There are no volcanos, Tobirama,“ Hashirama stopped him.

„I’m just saying we need to be careful and to cease from acting without thinking first,“ Tobirama firmly voiced his opinion.

„Fine,“ Hashirama turned his eyes to the window like a child whose parent just said no him.

\---

Tobirama came back from his house, to pick up all he needed. The truth was that he adored his brother. He looked up to him, something Hashirama never knew about, he admired his strength. He knew that Hashirama was so strong that he would be able to get through everything, even through Madara’s death. He had the pleasure to watch Hashirama since early childhood and he felt like he knew Hashirama better than anyone. His brother was different from other people. He had the dream ever since young age and he went after it like sea waves after island shores. He persisted even when things didn’t go his way. No one else, besides Tobirama, didn’t get to see Hashirama’s mistakes, failures and shortcomings. And sometimes, it was as interesting to watch Hashirama lose as it was to watch him win -- and there were many loses. Hashirama was winning because even when he lost, he tried to do better, thousand times, until he won, until he raised above. Tobirama felt privileged for being the only person who could see his determination. Other people were usually giving up after one rejection, after one thing didn’t go their way, after one defeat. And Hashirama, even when cut into pieces, burned to the ground, after being just ashes, pieced himself together again and fought harder. Even when his lips were blue, when his eyes were going blank from exhaustion, when his knuckles were bleeding, he just stood up and led the Senju clan towards victory. When Hashirama’s hopes were shattered, he just danced on a broken glass and praised the beauty of the fragments that glittered when the sun was let in.

People from Konoha didn’t realize that this was Hashirama’s true power, his enormous devotion to the cause. Not his mokuton, or the amount of chakra or his physical strength. That was how Hashirama was different, this was the Hashirama‘s legacy, his firey, igneous determination that burned in his heart just enough to warm the whole village of people and inspire them to do the same, to inspire them to have his will of fire. Enough of will of fire so even Tobirama’s heart could be warm in Konoha.

Hashirama was pacing in his office when Tobirama finally came back.

„Do you have something to offer them?“ Tobirama asked while watching his brother who looked scared, like the fear had overtaken him, like the ache in his heart expanded. But Tobirama knew that it will pass. Hashirama had many bad moments, but he always managed to raise on top like sequoias raised over other trees although sometimes his cheeks were sore from tears.

„Maybe,“ Hashirama answered anxiously. „If something happens to Madara, my heart will never mend,“ he whispered.

Tobirama just nodded. Sometimes, Hashirama was melodramatic. He put his hand on his shoulder. Not to soothe him, but to teleport them to the scroll. He was glad he could just run away and never tell Hashirama how stupid and pathetic he sounded.

\---

Hashirama and Tobirama appeared next to the scroll, in a darkened room. The shades were down and on the right side of the room was a bed that didn’t seem very comfortable.

„Is this the Hyuuga palace, older brother?“ Tobirama asked and scratched his forehead.

„No, I don’t think so, Tobirama, no,“ Hashirama said quietly and looked around, visibly confused. The place was lighter and looked much more expensive than this shed.

Suddenly, the door opened. Hashirama made a step forward to shield Tobirama like he always did.

„Who are you?“ asked the familiar voice. It was Hase, the thief. Hashirama could recognize her just by the sound of her talking. Now he could see her in a light coming from the next room. Her hair was so dark it was almost blue. Her skin was in contrast light. Her eyes were so white they seemed almost empty and bleak. She definitely was a Hyuuga.

„I’m Senju Hashirama and I came for something that belongs to me, Hase,“ he said simply. He needed to find the antidote soon. Hashirama indifferently grabbed his scroll and made another step towards Hase.

„And now there’s two of you,“ Hase said and raised her chin.

Tobirama just menacingly glanced at her. „So you are the robber who steals my older brother’s scrolls?“

„Tch,“ Hase said. „You can have it then,“ she said and pointed to the exit. She knew she doesn’t stand a chance in a fight with the two Senju brothers.

Hashirama raised his eyebrows. „No, that’s not what we want,“ Hashirama protested. „We need to get to the Hyuuga clan’s hideout,“ Hashirama said softly.

„Then go,“ Hase cried out.

„Where is it?“ Hashirama asked again.

„Just go!“ Hase screamed.

„Please, lead me to the Hyuuga hideout!“ Hashirama yelled, fell to the ground and landed on his knees. Then he bowed his chin to the ground.

„Hashirama, stand up!“ Tobirama said with a half horrified – half threatening look. He couldn’t believe how Hashirama was degrading himself in front of some random female from some cheap clan. „Stand up like a soldier you are!“

„That’s courageous of you to think I’m allowed to go inside,“ Hase said.

„Aren’t you of a Hyuuga clan, female?!“ Tobirama cried and touched Hashirama’s back so he could help him to stand up.

„I indeed am, but I can’t go in,“ Hase said.

„Why not?“ Asked Hashirama out of nothing, raising his face from the floor. From Tobirama’s point of view he looked like a crumpled piece of paper worth nothing. 

„I left,“ Hase simply said.

„Please, can you at least lead me to the hideout? My… My best friend was poisoned by your clan and we need an antidote, otherwise he will die like a wild bird in the winter cold,“ Hashirama explained and bended his head to the ground again. „I will give you my scroll, every weapon that’s sealed in it, just please, help me.. Please,“ Hashirama said with a trembling voice.

Tobirama looked at Hashirama. For him, Hashirama’s weapons had higher value than some crazy Uchiha. But he didn’t want to disrupt Hashirama’s pathetic bargaining.

„It’s not a mine clan anymore, you foolish nitwit! Do you think I would leave my clan?“ Hase asked and growned.

Hashirama breathed in and handed her his scroll.

„I think I can do it for a scroll,“ said Hase and raised her right eyebrow. Then she smiled. „My father will not be very pleased, but I think we can make this deal happen.“

\---

Before they got to the lake, the sun rays started to appear on the morning sky. There was a chilling cold that came from the lake’s vapour. Hase made a few hand seals and the palace appeared again. And shortly after that, members of Hyuuga clan, in the lead with their leader, came to the shore. When the leader noticed Hashirama and Tobirama, he gave Hase an unpleasant look. 

„Hase,“ the leader said and frowned. „Why are you bringing me such trash?“

„Father, these men, Hokage and his younger brother, need an antidote for Hokage‘s friend that you poisoned,“ Hase said calmly.

„Will you finally come back?“ The leader asked without acknowledging her plead or two tall man standing there.

Hashirama could feel the dense air around them. Leader didn’t like to see him and Hashirama hated when someone didn’t like him. He was doing everything right, so why didn’t this person listen to what he had to offer?

„Your people are just killing invaders who have no idea that they are on your land. I want nothing to do with you. These people need your help, so please, kind father, help them,“ she said calmly.

The leader looked at them both. „You are Butsuma‘s sons, right?“ he made sure. Hashirama was Butsuma’s spitting image. And the leader didn’t look very pleased with the fact. The man was a monster, devil, and these were his sons.

„Yes,“ Tobirama answered readily.

„Please don’t judge us on a opinion you have about our father. Not only he is long gone, but it was never my purpose to be like him,“ Hashirama said, hang his head and pierced through the floor with his eyes.

„I don’t have time for that! Hase, let’s go home to see mother,“ the leader shook his head.

„I will not go home with you!“ Hase screamed.

Over Hashirama’s head the cloud of depression appeared. „Please,“ Hashirama said. „Please, let me help you. Please, join our village.. There are plenty of new houses you can use now that your palace is sinking! Where will you go once your hideout disappears into the abyss of the lake?”

Hase was distraught by what Hashirama was saying. „Is that true, father? Is the palace sinking?“

„How do you two know about this?“ The leader asked.

„We will not need any money from you. We just need to cooperate. We will never get away from feudal lord’s hands if we will not be united front,“ Hashirama explained. „It’s a beautiful village with cliffs, in the trees, a river flows through it like a vein, you will like it, I promise!“ Hashirama tried again.

„We will be just normal citizens then? That doesn’t sound good to me… We want our voices heard. We are devoted to our precious hierarchy as it’s in the Hyuuga blood to be this loyal,“ the leader said.

„You will have your voice heard, I promise! We will have you, as the Hyuuga representative, in a Konoha council. Every clan has one representative,“ Hashirama breathed. 

„That is not enough,“ the Hyuuga said.

„What more can I do for you so you will gladly join our village? I’m just a simple Hashirama, I have no money to offer you, but I can protect you with all my might so you will always be safe with us. You can trust me,“ Hashirama said. He looked trustworthy, but the leader didn’t seem to be very impressed by a younger man.

„You will marry my daughter so our conjuction is full,“ the Hyuuga said.

Hashirama’s smile turned into a pout. He clenched his fists. He didn’t want to get married. He had too much work with the village, with Madara, a bride would complicate things. Even though her jaw was sharp and her eyes were as wide as the sky, even though she was determined, he didn’t long for her. He couldn’t just learn to love someone he didn’t know.

„Father…“ Hase said and clenched her teeth. „I am not a commodity you can use to ensure the clan’s safety!“

„He will do it,“ Tobirama said instead of Hashirama. Hashirama needed someone. All he had was that cursed Uchiha who was always with him like he was just Hashirama’s servant. One of Hashirama’s dreams always was to have many children and Hase was noble, noble enough to marry the Senju heir that was Hashirama. Hashirama gazed at Tobirama angrily, but he didn’t protest. Tobirama found Hase very fair. She was the girl he always thought Hashirama would marry. Not strikingly beautiful, but good-looking with a drab face pale as marble so it wouldn’t disturb Hashirama when working. Smart and well-bred with a soft voice. Just her being a thief was a little off-putting, but Hashirama didn’t have many other options anyway.

„I need the antidote,“ Hashirama almost fainted. He couldn’t say anything more. He just desperately needed to keep Madara alive for whatever cost. „Please, I beg you, have mercy!“ Hashirama said softly. His heart was sick and hurt from the constant fear of losing Madara. He had lost enough in wars, he couldn’t afford to lose someone he held so dear and who was so important.

„You shall receive your antidote,“ the Hyuuga said and looked at his daughter distinctly. „But do not try to make us pay for the housing. We also want Konoha to pay for our new residence. If not, I will haunt all your shinobis, Hokage-dono,“ the Hyuuga said menacingly.

Hashirama lowered his chin and nodded. He will have to lessen the cost of other things to fund the Hyuuga clan residence, but he knew it’s the only way to keep Madara alive. How much was the cost of his friend’s life? Other Hyuuga handed Hashirama a phial with a blue liquid inside. „Thank you,“ Hashirama said impartially. This was not a good trade by far, but he was too desperate for any negotiations. He squeezed the little bottle in his hand like it was Madara’s life and he didn’t even try to relax the grip, he refused to let it go. It was still the primitive hour of the day and the dewdrops were shining in the four-leaf clover field next to the lake like a million little stars. It looked so peaceful, unlike Hashirama’s head that was throbbing with thoughts of Madara. „Thank you,“ Hashirama said after a while.


	4. don't do it, Hashirama!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara receives the antidote while Hashirama is trying to figure out how to deal with the Hyuuga clan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my english is bad today, sorry.

After Hashirama returned to Konoha with Tobirama, things started to happen rather quickly. The doctors treated Madara with the antidote Hashirama brought and hoped for the best. Tobirama prepared the contracts for Hyuuga. It was all business, with Hashirama having to marry the Hyuuga girl. Then they had to cross out the budget for the next year to have money for Hyuuga clan. Hashirama asked himself why were the Hyuugas such sleezes, simply taking things for saving lives. They wanted to suck Konoha dry.

He was sitting in a comfortable chair next to Madara’s hospital bed, reading the deals and financial means. Sometimes he felt like he was losing his mind looking at all the numbers. Things weren’t looking as bad as before, but the doctor said he wasn’t sure if Madara wasn‘t brain dead (to which Tobirama answered that Madara has been brain dead for a long time now.) It was a late afternoon, the daylight was getting lazy and Hashirama was trying to relax by sitting next to his friend. That was when Madara woke up.

Madara slowly opened his eyes. He was confused and his eyesight was blurry. His head was aching like someone hit him with an axe. He couldn’t remember what it was that brought him to the hospital room. The room looked black and white and it was like all the colors faded, like he was suddenly colorblind. There were no flowers on the counters, not that Madara would expect anyone to send him flowers, but it was not pleasant to know it for sure. He felt weak, like he was sleeping for a few months and he didn’t even bother to move. The sheets were rubbing on his skin like a sandpaper and the mattress pressed into his back like a steel. Then he carefully moved his neck. And at that moment, all the missing colors returned, like someone spilled the watercolors into his sight. There was Hashirama, calm as a water in a cup, looking into documents. „Hashirama,“ Madara sighed. His voice sounded softer than he intended, but it was probably because of the weakness he felt.

Hashirama raised his chin and looked at Madara. It was like a big rock was lifted from his heart and he couldn’t help but smile with satisfaction. He intuitively put down papers and grabbed Madara’s hand – for god’s sake, it was paler than ever before – and stood up. „You are fine!“ Hashirama announced. To his suprise, Madara did not try to pull away it, perhaps because he was to weak to fight Hashirama’s joy.

„How long have I been there?“ Madara asked.

„Just a few days,“ the Hokage answered and squeezed Madara’s hand just as hard as he squeezed the bottle with the antidote.

„Good… The damned Hyuugas, the animals! The audacity of poisoning me,“ Madara started to yell like the flames were coming from his mouth.

„They actually gave me the antidote for you,“ Hashirama stated.

„Oh good, otherwise I would come back from death and I would kill them!“ Madara threatened.

„Don’t joke about such things! Ghosts are really scary!“ Hashirama protested. „I was so scared for you, but it wasn’t a normal fear, it was that kind of fear that paralyses you, the kind of fear that you feel on your shoulders, the kind of fear that makes you scream instead of cry!“ Hashirama pouted.

„I hope I wasn’t a burden,“ Madara looked at Hashirama.

„No, you have never been a burden once in your life, Madara!“ Hashirama said and looked at Madara. His face was paler than a white chrysanthemum of paradise and his lips were deep blue. But still, for Hashirama, there was nothing half as much as interesting as Madara. Hashirama lovingly looked at Madara, „but my dear, you need to sleep. You are too weak for these conversations and I have many things to do. The Hyuugas will join our village, but their requirements are hard to fulfill so I need some extra time,“ Hashirama smiled.

„What requirements do they have? They almost killed the founder of Konoha, do they realize that? Suckers,“ Madara pointed out and looked at Hashirama. He was glad that it was Hashirama who was here. It was very relaxing when it was just two of them, just their two chakras.

„They want us to build them a residence for starters,“ Hashirama spilled.

„That will be expensive, how can we afford that?“ Madara frowned.

„And then they want me to marry a Hyuuga heiress, so they can trust us,“ Hashirama added.

„And you agreed you fool?“ Madara asked. He realized Hashirama was still holding his hand so he dropped it fast like a hot mug of tea and put it on his forehead. He didn’t want to touch Senju’s dirty hands, hands that will touch his Hyuuga bride, hands that tore everything apart, again. Hashirama was just as destructive as he was stupid. He tended to act like a sheep and then turned into a wolf. The traitor. Madara’s stomach turned when he looked at Hashirama again because his face was making him throw up.

„I wanted to save you,“ Hashirama said.

„Thank you, _Hokage-sama_ , aren’t you a hero? Now get out already, I want to sleep,“ Madara sharply announced, raised his hand and pointed at the door. „I don’t want to see your face here again unless you bring me food or some flowers with a get better note,“ he stated and sighed again. He didn’t want to sleep, he just didn’t want to hear anything Hashirama had to say or see his stupid face. He didn’t want to feel his presence in the hospital room and he didn’t want Hashirama to feel satisfaction. He wanted Hashirama to feel the same disillusionment he did.

„I will not bother you, I’m so sorry,“ Hashirama whispered with a disappointment in his voice. He didn’t want to threaten Madara’s health so he decided to leave quickly. „I will bring you food and flowers to get better, have a nice evening,“ Hashirama said with a fake smile, the smile that Madara knew was fake and which irritated him even more now. Then Hashirama disappeared behind closed doors, wondering if Madara is irritated just because he was tired and hungry or because.. Hashirama didn’t even want to think that other thought, but he had to consider it. Maybe Madara was just angry that he now has to marry a girl. He needed to bring food and flowers next time.

\---

The month ended and another one started since Madara stayed at the hospital. The architects were called to build a Hyuuga residency and things settled for a bit. The peonies and magnolia trees were now blooming under Hashirama’s windows. He could see the flowers, not so much of Madara though. They both sucked at communicating when it came to the root of the problem. But today, they had a meeting with the Hyuuga clan leaders in a Hokage building. Hashirama was early although Madara already sat behind the table. Tobirama had work in the Main city of the Fire country so he couldn’t attend. So it was just Hashirama and Madara versus, well, the whole Hyuuga clan. Hashirama could see Madara’s nervousness from the meeting. He couldn’t hide his contempt against the clan with Byakugan. And what was even worse, they did the Konoha dirty.

„Will your beautiful bride be there?“ Madara asked out of nothing.

Hashirama almost forgot about his own wedding. He still hoped that he will be able to stop it. „I don’t know, I hope not, you know very well I don’t want to get married just yet,“ Hashirama admitted and smiled at Madara.

„I’m sure she is going to be just delightful,“ Madara pointed out, hoping Hashirama would just say he will not marry some weak and ugly girl from Hyuuga clan.

„I’ve seen her twice,“ Hashirama admitted, hoping Madara would tell him not to marry her.

But instead, Madara grinned. „Doesn’t everyone want to marry Hokage? Last time it was that girl from that Whirlpool clan,“ he reminded Hashirama with sarcasm in his voice. 

Madara’s words were hard for Hashirama to swallow. He just clenched his jaw. He didn’t want a bride, however beautiful or charming. „We agreed I will not marry the girl I have never seen, why are you nagging me now?“ Hashirama said, embarrassed.

„They just want to marry you because you are the leader of Konoha, that’s all. Slimey leeches, whoring their daughters to gain power. The audacity, the perverseness…“ Madara shook his head. They didn’t know Hashirama, they all just liked his act. He was everything other people wanted him to be, he was an actor trying to beguile everyone, to entertain everyone, to win everyone over. But Madara saw through it all and he felt like Hashirama didn’t even realize how their friendship was different from all the others, how he adored Hashirama for him, not for his act. How different they were just because Madara could see right through Hashirama’s mare’s nest.

„Thank you for reminding me that it’s because of my title, I almost thought that it’s because of my height and for my pretty face,“ Hashirama laughed although it still stung that Madara was fine with him marrying anyone. He was probably deluded to believe something else. Those were only things that were happening in books he used to read, but not in real life, not to him. It was probably just a feverish thought he got from the sun that abused his back every day at the office.

„Well, certainly not for your fashion sense,“ Madara nodded and laughed too.

The three Hyuuga leaders entered the room with the Hokage’s secretary. They bowed down and Hashirama with Madara did the same. Then they sat and started to negotiate the requirements. Madara often clenched his teeth instead of cursing at them. Otherwise the meeting was boring and he didn’t even need to attend. Hashirama nodded at everything as it was the only thing he could do. Hashirama’s act was perfect, to the last lines.

„And if you were to divorce my daughter, you will pay her half of your monthly paid for the rest of your life,“ the Hyuuga said suddenly.

Madara looked at him funny. This would ruin Hashirama, not to mention that it was not a fair offer. „That is absolutely inadmissible,“ escaped Madara’s mouth.

„Madara… It’s fine.“ Hashirama whispered. He was still grateful for the antidote he received for Madara. He put his hand on Madara’s shoulder and shook his head.

„It’s not fine, _Hashirama_ , please don’t be stupid. You can’t even buy new shoes, last month I had to pay for your new doors. You would die of hunger, homeless and with no running water,“ Madara yelled. Hashirama wasn’t able to defend himself properly. Usually there was Tobirama who did it for Hashirama, but now there was only him. And Hashirama, the helpless creature, needed to be protected.

The Hyuuga looked at Madara. „Weren’t you half dead just a few weeks ago? Are you his public speaker? Shut your Uchiha mouth up and go take a cold shower to calm yourself down before your sharingan activates!“

Madara stood up and looked at Hyuuga menacingly. Then he raised his finger and pointed at the Hyuuga, „isn’t it enough that you are making him marry that terribly weak and ugly daughter of yours?!“

„Let’s not fight, please, no girl is ever ugly,“ Hashirama said with a forced smile.

„Stop the act, Hashirama and be stern for just one second! Grow some spine! I’m trying to stand up for you!“ Madara screamed.

„We can discuss it some other day,“ Hashirama forced another smile and stood up too. He grabbed Madara’s shoulder to help him sit down.

„Only if you are man enough to just turn down the wedding proposal. You need to tell them you don’t want the marriage,“ Madara said and sat down.

„Madara, I.. We need to discuss this again once I will think about it,“ Hashirama whispered with an unsteady voice.

„As you wish, Hokage-sama,“ the Hyuuga said, still looking at Madara.

\---

Madara was sitting in the Hokage’s office, filling in for Hashirama, who didn’t feel quite well after last night’s drinking. Madara wasn’t very happy about it, because he had a certain disdain for Hokage’s job, but he did it anyway, as a duty to the village. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. It wasn’t unusual as people were coming and going every ten minutes. It was like the busiest place in the village.

„Hn?“ Madara voiced, continuing the paper work. He could just pray it wasn’t Hashirama’s annoying brother.

Here entered a lady. She had a dark, blueish hair, fair skin and eyes as white as an alabaster with a purple undertones. If she wasn’t a Hyuuga, Madara would consider her beautiful. But she was one of the Hyuuga, so he distorted his lips in distaste. She brought the big scroll with herself, Hashirama’s scroll that got stolen. „What do you need, Hyuuga?“

„I’m sorry, my name is Hase and I’m looking for Hashirama-san. I need to talk to him and…“ She looked up at Madara and seemed like a terror struck her. There was something eery about him. She had no doubt he killed many people. He looked like the person who would even enjoy it. „Are you the Uchiha Madara?“

„That is me. Hashirama is not here as of today,“ he growned and waved his hand. Then he stopped. „Wait…“

„What is it, Uchiha-sama?“ Hase whispered carefully, trying not to bother him.

„You’re the lady marrying the Hokage, carrying his scroll,“ Madara grinned nastily. „How does it feel to be whored out by your father?“

„I’m sorry?“ Hase asked and swallowed. He had no empathy. He talked as his mouth grew on his face. „You shouldn’t talk to a lady like this, didn’t your mother teach you that? She should wash your mouth with a soap.“

„You’re far from a lady, you’re just a thief, a simple object for Hokage and the Hyuuga leader to seal the deal between Hyuugas and Konoha. You’re worth nothing,“ Madara waved his hand. „And do not talk about my mother!“

„What is your problem?“ Hase questioned. She was shaken and when the man screamed and she started to tremble. But she didn’t want to show him that she was frightened so she held her composure.

„Hokage doesn’t love you and he never will, he’s not able to love, especially such a weak female character… Actually, even your own father doesn’t love you. You’re a sad, sad person, at least return the scroll,“ he was angry. How dare she for trying to steal Hashirama from him? Was he agressive? Yes. Did he regret it? Hell no.

„I’m sorry, but who are you to know this?“ She shook her head.

„I’m his…“ his sunrise, his noon, his sunset, his afterglow, his night, his whole day. The person Hashirama will suffer for, the person he will eventually die for. Hashirama’s fire in the cold winter, his ice in hot summer. Hashirama’s insatiable demand and obsession. Didn’t she know? Didn’t the whole world know? „I’m his friend and drinking buddy,“ Madara replied, quieter than before. Hase could see he was upset. And judging by his reactions, also hungry.

„Thank you for your opinion,“ Hase breathed out and hurried to the door that looked like a sweet escape now from the eagle’s claws.

„I’m telling you, little weak girl, leave him alone, but first leave here that scroll so I can bring it back to him!“ Madara was mad, furious even. She was prettier than he thought – Hashirama described her as homely and so he was calm. Until now when he saw her. And he never wanted to saw her again or Hashirama to lay his eyes on her. „You’re all just cowards, plague that infected the whole Konoha!“ He yelled at the girl who left the scroll by the door while she closed and left, shaken by the encounter with the strange Uchiha.

\---

That night, Hashirama went to drink to a Konoha restaurant that was below his Hokage office. It was a fairly popular place in Konoha. You could meet everyone, from people of Senju clan to the people of Sarutobi clan. And the sake here tasted better than at home. Females were smoking from long cigarette mouthpieces and males were trying to get their attention through desperate acts. Hashirama usually found it amusing while he breathed the smoke. He and Madara found joy in watching the situations escalate. Sometimes, a girl would go with a guy to the bathroom. Other times, two guys would get into a fight. But Madara wasn’t there that day with Hashirama, like he was avoiding him. So Hashirama sat at the table with a few of his so called friends that Madara found annoying and boring, playing dice in a dim light of the room.

Suddenly, the Hyuuga leader made his way to the table and Hashirama couldn’t hide his suprise. This dirty place was no good for a people of such a noble clan. „Hyuuga-san,“ Hashirama said and lowered his chin.

„Hokage-dono. I was looking for you at your apartment, but that friend of yours told me you are out drinking in a local pub,“ the Hyuuga frowned.

Hashirama smiled and nodded. „Do you want to go some place quieter?“

„I think this place is fine for things I want to discuss. Actually, it’s just more than appropriate.“

„It’s fine for me too. Why were you looking for me? Don’t you like the architect’s plans?“

„Do you think that your behavior is suitable for a leader of shinobi village?“ The Hyuuga asked. He didn’t like Hashirama at all. He thought he was a freak.

„Which behavior are you refering to?“ Hashirama swallowed sake in his mouth.

„You know what the people are whispering…“ The Hyuuga indicated.

„People are always saying rumors, we let them talk,“ Hashirama smiled and poured sake to a cup in front of the Hyuuga leader. He knew about every rumor that was going around. And most of them were true and the rest of them were probably even made up by his drunk self.

„I don’t think that it’s very appropriate for you to have a certain relationship with Uchiha,“ the Hyuuga leader said.

Hashirama’s heart stopped for a second as he was trying to hide the shock. No, he did hear it, from time to time, but he never really cared much. „We are just friends,“ Hashirama smiled.

„It’s absolutely disgusting. I believe that if the feudal lord and ministry knew, they would burn this stupid village of yours to the ground. I’m just saying it because it’s going to be mine stupid village too and I don’t want bad reflection on Konoha because of your inappropriateness,“ the Hyuuga said.

„I can assure you that nothing is happening,“ Hashirama drank another cup of sake. He felt like his soul escaped his body, like this was an out of body experience. He was flying over their heads.

„Your village will end up in shambles if your people find out. They will be disgusted by you and they will hate you. They will find you distasteful, they will never accept it and you will lose their support. Are you aware of that? Even member from Uchiha clan are pretty concerned about this… Thing, the Uchiha is the poison to your life,“ Hyuuga made sure that Hashirama can hear him.

„Do you really think so…?“ Hashirama felt like his body would combust any second.

„Think about your reputation, Hokage-dono. It’s easily ruined and hard to build. Do we understand each other? I will watch you, especially when you will play family with my daughter,“ he announced and pointed his thumb at his eyes.

Hashirama breathed out with an open mouth. He felt like he had just hit the wall. His heart rate went up. He always found the rumors innocent, cute even. The Hyuuga just pulled the rug from under him and Hashirama lied on the ground. „I understand,“ Hashirama couldn’t get any more words from his mouth out. He loved his village and his people over everything. He turned white and ordered another round of sake. That night, he got drunk without a single word spoken.


	5. think about your reputation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't feel like proofreading. Maybe later.

It was just before the dawn when Hashirama was supposed to be on the other side of Konoha, but he was late again. The reddish sky was turning purple and barely enlightened the dusty streets. He almost forgot that he was supposed to meet Hase in one of the better restaurants. He still had his Hokage gown and Hokage hat on because he didn’t have time to change. He couldn’t even tell Madara where he’s going because he was afraid that it would only drive a wedge between them and Hashirama was trying to keep Madara calm. He was happy for every day when Madara didn’t look like he wasn’t sleeping, when the sockets under his eyes weren’t turning dark blue and when he didn’t sound like he could break down any minute. The wound after losing Izuna was still bleeding and didn’t heal at all. People said that after a year of losing someone, you live in some sort of a limbo, in a dense mist surrounding you.

These were the injuries Hashirama couldn’t heal. All he could do was to listen and give Madara time and compassion, but not pity as Madara hated when Hashirama pitied him. For Hashirama, Madara was living one of his worst nightmares – to be the sole survivor of the family. He still had Tobirama to whom he clinged to. When the wind was blowing, when the hurricanes came, when the forest fires happen, when the water flooded his room, when all the catastrophes happened at once, he had someone to go to. And it was his lovely younger brother who would help him clean the lumber and all the wreck. But Madara didn’t have anyone like this, so Hashirama volunteered. And if Hashirama’s presence made Madara at least a little less lonely, than Hashirama felt like everything was worth it.

Hashirama finally entered the restaurant where Hase was sitting. She didn’t look quite as delighted as he hoped, probably because she was waiting for Hashirama for a few minutes now and sipped her water slowly. Hashirama felt ashamed for making the lady wait. He wasn’t like this and he knew that he was supposed to come first and wait for her. He came to her table and bowed down.

„I’m so deeply sorry for the delay, Hase-san. I had to be at the meeting, but I’m glad I could see you today,“ Hashirama smiled wanderingly.

Hase looked at him, unforgivably. „Hashirama-san, good evening,“ she just said and noticed that Hashirama looked all over the place.

„I thought we could get to know each other before the marriage,“ Hashirama nervously laughed and took a place opposite from hers.

„That is a good idea. So, tell me, were you with the certain Uchiha instead of getting ready to see me?“ she asked simply.

„What?“ Hashirama breathed out. „There was no Uchiha at the meeting,“ Hashirama specified.

„I feel like my father made you marry me,“ Hase said.

„No, not at all, I find you very fair and pleasant to be around,“ Hashirama smiled. It was true, but these things didn’t necessary mean that he wanted to marry her. He didn’t want to, but it was hard to say no and risk the Hyuugas won‘t join Konoha. And she was quite pretty, although not his type.

„You don’t act like you are very fond of me,“ Hase reminded him and Hashirama had no idea what is going on in her head. She could despise him as far as he knew.

„I hold you in a very high regards,“ Hashirama was trying to avoid the hard conversation. He didn’t want to lie but he also didn’t want to destroy the union between Konoha and Hyuuga clan. And if this was the only way to make peace with Hyuugas, he would gladly accept it.

„What do you feel?“

„I feel like I need to get to know you. Most of the people I adore I‘ve known since childhood. It takes time for me to know the person. I’m a simpleton as my brother says and I tend to see the good in people, overlooking the bad. I’m the worst judge of the character so I need to be very careful,“ Hashirama squinted his eyes, but didn’t ask Hase the same, perhaps because he was too proud to ask her the same. He didn’t want to know neither.

„I don’t think you should be afraid. If you long for someone else, I don’t believe that my father should decide your life. He will retire soon and my older brother will claim his position,“ Hase informed Hashirama.

„I don’t long for someone else,“ Hashirama gave her a friendly smile. He felt like she was trying to read him, like she saw right through him, into his guts, saw his insides and could tell what was going on. The naked, shameful and unfortunate truth. Hyuugas were feeding on his doubts and Achilles heels. Did he live just for the expactations of others? Was he so afraid of the shameless rumors? They were pulling out deep secrets he was hiding even from himself. Hashirama couldn’t let them do it and it was safer to keep it inside, dig a hole for it, bury it once again in an unmarked grave and let it rot. Until there was nothing left but bones.. And then, maybe then, he could be safe.

Hase ordered grilled pork and Hashirama ordered udon. He was trying to keep the small talk going, while staring into her white, vacant eyes that seemed distant. It was like a freezing winter suddenly came to Konoha. He could only think of aching homesickness while he was spending time with her. She talked about their palace and about how she wants to be an academy teacher. Hashirama was telling her how Konoha came to be and how hard it was to design the Hokage gown because it wasn’t supposed to be his. At the end of the night, he paid, led her home as a good man should. It wasn’t particulary boring, but it wasn’t interesting either. Hashirama would need much more sake to enjoy himself with her.

\--

That night, Hashirama sat in his bedroom’s window. It was a late Spring night yet Hashirama couldn’t forget what the Hyuuga leader said. It was tattooed in his brain whenever he allowed himself to look into Madara’s eyes, whenever he talked to him. The words were still on his mind. Was he disgusting? Would he disappoint everyone? Tobirama would never accept it, he would rather have another brother dead than this. The village beneath his feet was sleeping. Only a few lights were still on as wives were waiting for their husbands to come back from the restaurants. The wind was in his long hair. There were seconds when he wanted to jump out of the window just to stop being ashamed. To smack his head on the concrete so he wouldn’t have to feel foul. He cried, plenty of times, after the Hyuuga approached him. His vocation was to protect the village, even from himself or his failures. He was still to marry Hase who did not move him like Madara did. But as long as he kept it secret, as long as he didn’t tell anyone, as long as he didn’t marry Hase, he could hope that things will go the way he wanted. But even if they did, how would he tell Tobirama? How would he tell Konoha? How would he tell the Fire country representatives? How would he tell the whole world? It was a winless fight. They would cast him out.

The door opened and Madara entered with a bottle of sake and a scroll. „I brought you your scroll, from your… Future wife, I convinced her to give it back,” Madara stated first and put Hashirama’s scroll by the wall. Now they will trip over it again.

Hashirama smiled, but his smile was not real. Something was happening. „Thank you, Madara,” Hashirama said. He was pleasantly surprised that Madara was so kind to bring him the thing he held so dear. He didn’t ask how much he paid her, but Hashirama thought that.. A lot. But it was still a very beautiful gesture. 

. „You are quite wistful last weeks, aren’t you? Is it because of wedding?“ Madara asked with a light smile. He still hoped that Hashirama will tear off the patch and stop the stupid idea the Hyuuga clan had.

The Moon was enlightening the room. Hashirama looked at Madara’s features under the grayish light and smiled, but there was something hollow about his smile, something gloomy. Madara looked almost divine. His eyes looked like another set of stars on the crystal clear sky. „Actually yes. I’m not happy about it,“ Hashirama announced.

„Why not?“ Madara carefully asked with a light breath of hope.

„Because I love…“ Hashirama stopped himself from talking. Madara would laugh at him. The whole Konoha would laugh at him, damn, even he would laugh at himself. „Because I don’t love her.“

„You don’t know her, you can’t possibly love her, Hashirama,“ Madara said with compassion.

„Do you think I should marry her?“ Hashirama asked. He wanted Madara to forbid the marriage. He wanted Madara to stop it, he wanted Madara to tell him to be his.

„It is your decision, Hashirama,“ Madara breathed in deeply. He didn’t understand why can’t Hashirama just decide for himself? What if Hashirama in fact wanted to get married and have children with any female? Maybe it was damned from the start because Hashirama wanted something he couldn’t give him.

„I don’t want to, but then, what’s left?“ Hashirama said with a forced smile. He knew what was left, but it was so out of reach for him.

„Then don’t marry her if you don’t want it, Hashirama, you’ve tortured yourself enough,“ Madara said while grabbing the contracts from the table. He slowly ripped it apart. He thought that Hashirama will stop him, but he did not.

It wasn’t much, but it was enough. Hashirama nodded and smile dat Madara, „you are right. I can’t do it. I could never love her.“ Then he looked at Madara, hoping that he will tell him something that would warm his heart.

„Why can’t you… Anyway?“ Madara asked with a bated breath and he made a step towards the window where Hashirama sat.

Madara was now close enough for Hashirama to touch him. Hashirama stopped, put his hand on Madara’s shoulder and with one movement he pulled him towards himself. 

_You know what the people are whispering…_

_Think about your reputation_

_It’s easily ruined and hard to build._

_Think about your reputation_

_Think about your reputation_

_Think about your reputation_

_Think about your reputation_

_It’s easily ruined and hard to build._

_It’s easily ruined and hard to build._

Hashirama then kissed Madara’s forehead. „Because I don’t have the money to support family, my dear,“ Hashirama answered his friend’s question. The fake excuse sounded like a fingernails stratching a chalkboard to Madara.

„I see,“ Madara said and pulled away. **__**


End file.
